It’s your turn science!

Published April 13, 2014 by Jennie

science

For four years I have tried to get pregnant.  For four years I have failed.  While no one knows why (there have been LOTS and LOTS of tests, procedures, medications, etc..) we can not do it on our own.  Last week I started my last cycle before our IUI.  Our game plan consists of the following plays: 1 IUI, IVF (with insurance, we could get through 2 fresh transfers but of course we hope we will have the option of FET if needed), surrogacy (I have already starting doing a lot of research on this), adoption (preferably but at this point I bet we will be broke), and lastly acceptance that we will never be parents.

I can not help but wonder how far we will get down this list.  I am trying to focus on all the positives.  First of all, my infertility is unexplained.  This is partially good.  I know that several things that can cause infertility (such as PCOS, endometriosis, blocked tubes, ovulation disorders, thyroid problems, poor egg quality, low sperm count, poor sperm motility, etc) are not issues for us.  On the other hand, it is difficult to treat an invisible problem.

idk

 

Additionally, I am 31 which is not super young but I would say at this point, age is not a huge factor for me.  We have good insurance so treatment will be a financial commitment but will not bankrupt us (at least until we go over or max limit for treatments).

Another thing that we have going for us is that I have unusually high tolerance to pain.  Needles do not bother me at all.  When I got my last tattoo, I read most of the time and almost nodded off.  Somehow my brain knows how to block off or at least greatly diminish feelings of physical (and mental) pain.  I have been through a lot in the past in addition to infertility so I think this may be my survival tactic for getting through things.  My friends sometimes call me a robot which can be good or bad, but in this case, it is good.  For those of you who get queasy around needles (which is completely normal), please enjoy the picture below (many of you may have already seen this but it always makes me smile).

kid

I also will not be working during the last half of May and all of June (minus working on my dissertation).  I am teaching a class in July but I can easily get someone to fill in for me if I have to miss a day or two.

Even though medical science has failed to identify why I can not get pregnant, I have a tremendous amount of faith in my upcoming fertility treatments.  I have researched it ad nauseam and I know that this is our best shot.  It has to work for someone so why not me?  Although I know that disappointment may await us, I am so thankful that we have access to these types of treatments.  All of this will soon be out of our hands.  I am keeping my fingers crossed for myself and everyone fighting the exhausting battle against infertility.  I promised myself I will not give up even if things do not go our way and really start to suck – Jennie

house

 

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14 comments on “It’s your turn science!

  • It’s comforting to know that doctors have limitations and when they can’t explain or know what is wrong, God can and He is willing and able to fix anything when we hand it to him and put our faith in him. I am Praying for you girlie and that everything goes awesome! Xoxo!! so many positive things happening for you.

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  • Found your blog through another… But I can so relate! I don’t have no issues, but people with PCOS get pregnant on their own alllllll the time. And I’ve struggled even it’s some minor assistance. Here’s hoping that you’ve got this and you’ll knock it on on step one!? Get it, girl. You’ve got this.

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    • That would be so great if we could knock it out with this upcoming IUI. Also, you are right. People with all different kinds of conditions that can negativity impact fertility get pregnant all the time. Best of luck to you!

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  • Having a plan always helps set my mind at ease too! I am hoping only good things for you as you begin to pursue different treatments/ options! It’s so hard not knowing, at least I hope you can be closer to some answers!

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  • Good luck on your upcoming treatments. It took us 4 years before we had our son & it was ultimately gestational surrogacy that worked. Are you in NC? I was in grad school at UNC during the bulk of our infertility journey, and grad school was a very useful distraction.

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    • Hey KeAnne,
      I am in NC. I was at UNC Chapel Hill for undergrad and now I am at UNC Charlotte for my PhD. Grad school is a wonderful distraction however it can be incredibly frustrating. Thank you for your encouragement. We are not looking at surrogacy now but I am doing a lot of research on it now so if we get to that point, I will at least kind of know what is going on 🙂

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  • Hey, just wanted to wish you all the best! We just found out this week that I have low AMH(not many eggs left) and I am only 32. We are contemplating starting our IVF journey next month. I like that you have a clear plan/goal.

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  • Hi! I’ve just nominated you for a Liebster Award 🙂 Head on over to my blog to see how it works. (I know that these responses are time consuming, so I won’t be offended if you don’t) I’ve nominated you because I can always relate to your posts and you write with such honesty, and they are always so informative too. Thank you!

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    • Wow thank you so much! When I started my blog I thought it was just going to be a place where I organized my thoughts and I never expected other people to actually read it. I will check it out and thanks again:)

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