For those of you not familiar with my story, my husband and I decided in December to resume fertility treatments in May. In January, I decided I would do everything possible to improve my physical, mental, emotional health. I have worked hard and have made some significant changes. Things were going great until a few weeks ago. I have kept many of my good habits (no soda, artificial sweetener, limited added sweeteners, etc). Even so, I have let a lot of things slide. I’ve been cooking less and relying more on quick meals which are more likely to be processed. I have also not been to the gym as much and when I go, I have been focusing mainly on cardio (I know that it does not do me much good unless I balance it with strength and flexibility training).
I should also say that this time correlates with the end of my last semester of doctoral classes. I have telling myself I have just been to busy to be healthy. Logically, I know my reasoning is full of crap. Being healthy is a lifestyle, not just something you do when you have time. Life will always be busy. I can not just be healthy when its convenient. I am really disappointed with myself. I also have this crazy thought that maybe I am sabotaging myself. It would be extremely difficult to accept that I did everything to prepare myself for fertility treatments and I still failed. I feel like I may be setting myself up to fail because I can not handle being let down again. Why is it so hard for me to stay positive? I get so tired of trying to be perfect. I just want to hide in my closet and eat ice cream. – Jennie