Today we started IUI #3 (third time’s the charm right?). I do not expect it to work but I also do not expect it not to work if that makes sense. This one may be a little better for a few reasons.
* I finished all my coursework for my doctoral program (as of yesterday). My main focus now of course is my dissertation but at least I do not have to try to schedule this IUI around classes.
* We have infertility coverage now (as opposed to when we did the first two IUIs). This may make things a little stressful.
My initial appointment went well. Although I know it is necessary, it always feels like a kick in the stomach when they make me take a pregnancy test. As with IUI#2, I will take 5mg of Letrozole on days 3-7 and trigger with Ovidrel.
I went to the pharmacy to fill the Letrozole. After waiting about 30 minutes, I asked them if there were any problems. They said that my insurance company needed preauthorization which can take a few days. Apparently, they do not understand that fertility drugs need to be taken on specific days and I did not have the luxury of being able to wait a few days. I called my doctor’s office and they told me I should just pay out of pocket.
In reality, this should not have been that big of a deal. We paid for the first two out of pocket. Also, the medicine is not terribly expensive (it is under $100 without insurance). Even so, for some reason, I started to feel hopeless in the middle of the drug store. I think it was because I was already running into problems and it is only day 1 of this treatment. I imagine my facial expression resembled something like this…
For the most part, I manage infertility well. I usually do not let it get me down. Today was not one of those days. My eyes started to water up as I texted my husband to let him know what is going on. This is how he responded.
This may not feel like a big deal but it reminded me of something I often forget. My husband is incredibly loving and supportive but for some reason, I sometimes see infertility as my battle. This is no fault of his at all. I think it is because my body is made partially to bear children and it does not work hence it is my fault. This text reminded me that we face all struggles together. Also, he always has my back. We are a team. I may be unlucky at fertility but I am exceptionally lucky when it comes to love.