Tonight my aunt in coming into town today. I am so excited to see her. My husband and I do not live near our families and I always feel like we do not see them as much as I would like To get ready for her visit, I figured I would tidy up the house. I am somewhat of a neat freak and actually like cleaning. I really like super cleaning. There is just something cathartic about it. I also recently tried a new recipe for an all purpose cleaner.
This is a little off topic, but I like to make my own cleaning and personal products when possible to avoid adding more chemicals in our house. In case anyone is interested, I save all my recipes I find on my Pinterest account.
I also organized everything in our bathroom closet. While doing so, I found some of my old ovulation tests.
My heart sank a little when I realized that my old ovulation tests have expired. I was not upset because I had to throw them out. I stopped doing ovulation testing a long time ago. The reason is because it stopped giving me useful information. Every month I tested, I would get a positive result. My cycle is very regular so I could pretty much predict the exact day I would ovulate. I can also feel it in my body if that makes sense. I actually tried several different tests hoping that one would not show I ovulated. For anyone trying to TTC, I know that sounds crazy. The reason I wanted one to show I did not ovulate is because I could then possibly identify a potential problem. If I know what is wrong, I may be able to fix it.
This test reminded me that I have been fighting an invisible problem for a long time. I wonder what it would be like if we had gotten pregnant with no issues. I would have a toddler now. It saddens me to think about all joy (and even the headaches) we have missed out on over the last several years. Time goes by so fast. I have not lost hope but sometimes little things (like seeing this test) but things into perspective.
To make this post a little more positive, I attached a cheesy picture of one of our past vacations. I sometimes need to remind myself to appreciate the good times in life.