The Joy of Waiting

Published August 22, 2014 by Jennie

emotionalrollercoaster

 

 

 

We are starting the IVF process and I am in the third week of taking birth control pills.  If you read my last post, you know that we completed all our preliminary blood work.  Everything came back great minus my genetic testing which was mishandled by LabCorp.  I called today and they said that the results will not be available for another week even though I redid them a week and a half ago and they said they would expedite it since they screwed up the first time.  My doctor will not order any other medication besides birth control until those results are back.  I am so ready to be done with the testing phase so we can move on to bigger and better things.

I am also having issues with my birth control (skip this paragraph if TMI bothers you).  I have had a lot of break through bleeding, cramping, and irritability.  Online resources say this sometimes happens and it is getting on my nerves.  Has anyone else experienced this? I am also super emotional but I am not sure if that has anything to do with the birth control or the overall situation.  Most of my friends would say I am a fairly unemotional person.  I do not think that being emotional is bad, it is just not me.  Part of the reason I think I am like this is because I have experienced some pretty bad losses in the past and this is just how I cope.  I recently tried to watch the movie Up and did not get through the first bit without falling apart.  What is wrong with me?  I am not like this usually.

We have been dealing with infertility for over four years but for some reason, I feel like I can not wait another day to complete IVF.  I am so ready for all of this stuff to be done.  I have gotten used to the multitude of pregnancy announcements which seem to be made daily but for some reason, now they are hitting me extra hard.  I am starting to think that I may turn into a basket case once we start my injections.  One of the main ways I deal with stress and anxiety is through exercise.  I have been having a lot of pain above my left ankle and today my doctor told me I have Peroneal Tendinosis.  Besides taking steroids, the ‘cure’ requires me to refrain for excessive activity for the next few weeks.  I need to find a new way to cope with stuff and I am not sure what to do.

I know that I am super lucky to even have the opportunity to attempt IVF.  I wish I could feel more gratitude and less anxiety and frustration.  That would make this whole process so much easier. – Jennie

 

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39 comments on “The Joy of Waiting

  • I had breakthrough bleeding on BCPs too. The whole process is definitely a roller coaster ride. IVF has much better stats than other types of fertility treatments, which is something I take comfort in. I’ll be praying for you through the process… Hope you get to start soon!

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    • Thank you for telling me that. I do not like to think that other people have had issues like this but it is nice to know that I am not alone. I am trying to keep IVF’s track record in mind as I go through this. Some days are better than others!

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  • I don’t know if it counts as breakthrough bleeding, but I tried to start another pack without having my period so that my ovulation day fell at a better time and I started bleeding anyways. I’m sorry things are rough right now. Chin up and I hope your ankle is feeling better very soon!!

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  • i am also in year four and i feel exactly what you’re feeling! it’s just way harder this year. i felt the same with our last round of IVF. i felt like i couldn’t wait a single second longer than completely necessary for any stage of it. the pregnancy announcements have also been a lot harder this past year. i will admit i am “technically” pregnant at the moment but the beta numbers are so low that i’m not very hopeful of a lasting outcome… i find in the 4th year my hope and optimism is just no longer something i am clinging to. you’re not alone and i wish you the best of luck in all of this and i will be thinking of you! xo

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    • I am going to keep my fingers and toes crossed that this one sticks for you. It is due time! I am trying to not let the negativity dominate everything but some days are easier than others.

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  • Sorry to hear about the problems with the BCP! That’s annoying. Also sorry to hear about the restraining from excessive activity, I’ve been doing that recently and it’s been killing me! Hang in there!! I hope it’s all over soon

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  • BCPs have been making me extremely irritable as well. I haven’t had break through bleeding though. I hope you feel better soon! I hear you about the waiting. I can’t wait until it’s all done either. Wishing you all the best! ❤

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  • I was on continuous bcps for 7 years (only had 4 periods the entire time). I would get breakthrough spotting when my body became used to the hormone levels and they would need to increase the dose. I really hope the lab gets their stuff together and gets your labs done so you can get on with the show

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  • It makes complete sense that you would be emotional. At some point all your resilience and perseverance has to pile up and it is healthy/ normal to just give in and let yourself be a mess. You know you will keep on fighting but just be kind to yourself and know that this too shall pass. IVF was (finally) the way both my twin sister and I got our miracle babies. Oh- and for the record, the movie Up still makes me crazy emotional 🙂

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  • I just wanted to drop by and let you know that I’m thinking of you and I also wish you didn’t feel anxiety (although I know that it’s impossible to completely push away). Just hang onto hope. The last cycles do not predict the outcome current cycle. This is a fresh start. I’m holding onto hope for you!

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    • Thank you so much. I have been reading your posts and I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I am not even sure what to say. It makes all my stuff look like nothing. I am holding on to hope for you as well.

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  • I had some breakthrough bleeding on BCP. I also had anxiety but it seemed to come in waves. I just kept telling myself it was drug induced and to let go of the thought. Hope your results come in soon so you can get started!

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  • Birth control sucks. If you’re taking steroids, that could be contributing to your emotional stuff, too. Can you change to a different type of birth control? I know regular ones have terrible side effects for me, but a low dose one seems to make me less moody. Weird fact, the lab screwed up on my husbands genetic testing. Makes me really confident that they messed up on yours, too. (That was sarcasm.)

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    • I think I’ll ask about switching BCPs. Hopefully I will not have to take them much longer. I can’t believe the lab messed up your husband’s genetic tests. Other people have also told me about similar problems. You would think they would be a bit more careful.

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  • All pretty normal symptoms with BCP, but you may want to do a pregnancy test just to make sure…stranger things have happened. I’ve been having acupuncture since I started my IVF journey, and I can’t say enough good things about it. It eases so many of the symptoms we have from having our hormones out of control. Deep Breath! You’re almost there and hopefully you’ll feel better soon!

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  • I am thinking of you! I had three failed attempts at first clinic then went somewhere else. Both hubby and I were infertile. I had one follicle and three frozen sperm to work with, and ended up with my daughter, now eight. xxx

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  • I hope this is it for you!
    I didn’t have the symptoms you describe on BCP. The only thing was nausea. Which I had on BCP for years and when I went off them completely it was the best thing ever! I also got more headaches and yeast infections.

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