4 boys and 3 girls

Published December 8, 2014 by Jennie

The last few weeks I have been focusing on getting ready for my transfer which will be in January or February (I am going out of town in January for a bit so we may have to push things back). I went to yoga this morning and afterwords, I noticed I missed a call from my RE. I figured my PGS results had arrived so I called them back, but of course my RE was with a patient. I waiting for what felt like the longest 30 minutes of my life for him to call me back again. When he called me back, the first words out of his mouth were,

“4 boys and 3 girls”

My first reaction was disappointment. We tested 15 eggs and expected 2/3rds of them to be normal. Instead of 10 normal eggs, we have 7.

As I thought about this for a bit longer, I am starting to see this as a good thing for a following reasons.

* I am incredibly thankful to have 7 healthy, normal eggs. It gives us plenty of chances to try. We also have 2 more on ice that did not go through PGS (they were grade BBs). Who knows, they could be good as well. * Maybe this is one of the reasons I have been having trouble getting pregnant. * I am SO glad we did PGS. It was worth every penny. We now can avoid transferring eggs that would not have a chance. During a transfer, we know for sure that the egg is normal. That gives me a lot of peace. This may sound strange but I already feel attached to my little frosties. They are starting to feel real to me if that makes sense. I want to do everything I can to give them a shot at survival. My next big decision is to transfer 1 or 2. In the IF world, I get this question a lot. I may sound inconsistent with my answer, but I keep changing my mind. Statistics wise, here is the breakdown from my RE: Due to my age, overall health, and use of 5 day genetically normal frosties all with grades of AA, AB, or BA, our chance of pregnancy is pretty high. If we transfer 2, we have an 80% chance of getting pregnant. That also comes with a 70% chance of twins. If we transfer 1, we have a 65% chance of getting pregnant. There are some drawbacks to transferring 2. Twins come with extra health risks. They are more likely to be born premature and be underweight. They also have increased mortality and disabilities. I would cherish twins if I had them but I will also be honest and say the idea of raising 2 babies at once is a bit intimidating. Financially we are in a good place but the extra cost that comes along with raising an extra baby is something that warrants attention. If our first transfer fails, I plan on seeing a reproductive immunologist and exploring things I have not looked at before as possible causes and solutions to my infertility. If that is an issue, I would prefer to use up only 1 egg before we address this than 2. On the other hand, at this point I feel like doing anything possible to increase my chances of conception. 80% sounds a lot better than 65%. Also, if I transfer 2 eggs and God forbid something happens to one of them, I still have the other one. I know there is not a one size fits all solution for this. People have healthy twins all the time and people have singleton healthy babies all the time. Of course I would still love my baby regardless of any disability they may have. Even so, my goal is still to do what I can to have a healthy baby. So is 2 better than 1? I wish I knew the answer. I appreciate any feedback or input people have. I seriously am on the fence with this one.

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45 comments on “4 boys and 3 girls

  • So exciting!!!! We have gone back and forth on the 1 or 2 thing. For our fresh we did transfer only 1 (Jackson), but on both of our FETs we transferred 2. IF (and it is still a big IF) we do another fresh I am strongly leaning towards 2. Here are my reasons: 1) we have only had success with fresh and therefore I am not as worried about “saving” them for later seeing as FETs do not seem to work for us. 2) I am going to be high risk anyways and will have all of the extra care anyways, so having twins would not really change my risk status (being high risk already is one reason we might not transfer 2 though). 3) This is totally 100% selfish but I want to have twins and be done with pregnancy! I would still love to adopt, but if we have twins then more than likely I would be done with this entire IVF thing.
    Those are our reasons which may not be good ones. Text or call if you wanna chat about it more:)

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  • Wow, 7 is a ton! Congrats! My clinic only transfers one genetically normal embryo max, so I wouldn’t have a choice if I did PGS there. But if I did have a choice, I think I would still only do one. The risks with twins really scare the crap out of me!

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    • Thanks for the input. I did not know that some clinics only let you do one if they are genetically normal. That tells me that they really see the potential problems with transferring two. There is something appealing about having two but I also am scared of the elevated risks.

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  • My plan had always been to do single transfers, for at least the first couple attempts, because twins concerned me. After our first attempt failed, and after several cancelled cycles, it was really hard not to go ahead and have them transfer 2 the next time, to increase chances (especially since we didn’t do genetic testing.) But I stuck to my plan and did a single transfer, and got pregnant. In looking back, I’m glad I didn’t transfer two the first time around, because I think the lack of success could have been more to do with my body’s reaction to the drug manipulation more than anything else, so I’m glad I didn’t waste two potentially good eggs if that was the case.

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    • Yeah that is a great point. If our first retrieval does not work, we are going to try to identify what changes need to be made before we start the second. Sometimes I think that it takes a time or two before they figure out what works best for you. It still makes the decision hard though. This may sound immature but I am so ready to be past the infertility stage, baby or not. Once we are done with these transfers, we are done for good.

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  • We have just been discussing this too now that we are going to be doing the PGS. We decided that we would def only do 1 first. We just figured as it was more likely to be successful as chromosonally sound then we should give it a go. Whether or not we do more later (if the first one doesn’t take) will depend on how many ebmies we get. I think you getting 7 out of 15 highlights how often we are doomed to fail when we don’t test. Imagine if you hadn’t tested. 8 transfers would have been unsuccessful from the get go and you would have no way of knowing. I have to admit when I first started reading your blog I didn’t really understand what PGS was or why you would be doing it but I get it now and now i wonder why everyone doesn’t do it?! (cost of course but if you can afford it I think it is def the worthwhile option).

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    • I am excited for you and I hope you get good results from PGS. When I first started reading about it, I did not know what it was. Initially we decided not to do it because I am young and healthy, but I am so glad we did. You are right. Imagine how awful it would be to go through all of those eggs that never had a chance. I know it is a numbers game but in some cases, PGS might save people money. I also feel that since we have done everything else, what is one more thing? It has taken us a while to get here but we now have the best chance of success that we could ever ask for. I am leading towards transferring one but an 80% pregnancy rate sounds amazing. We can always make a new plan if the first fails. \

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      • Yes I agree, some people would actually save themselves money by doing the PGS testing as it costs every time you do a transfer. If you do enough transfers you probably exceed the PGS value… I know an 80% pregnancy rate is super tempting. Try to imagine if you think physically you could really do twins I guess. I had a spinal injury earlier in life and for me I think twins would be really hard so that is what pushes me towards staying with singles. You just need to choose what is right for you. A very exciting result though hon. Super dooper!

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  • I think that 7 is an AMAZING result. It’s definitely a lot of chances to try with and also i like how even the ratio of boy/girl is too 😉

    My new doctor (recently changed) is so adamant on transferring just one. My previous doctor was beginning to transfer 2 embryos (this is after the fact that we have had 4 failed transfers). I would have a serious think about what twins mean to you and the pregnancy risks/whether your body can handle it. It is such a personal decision and I change my mind on it all the time, but only you and your partner know what’s right for you! 🙂 But in my opinion, i don’t necessarily think that 2 is better than one at all. Especially considering your embryo quality and normality. Good luck lovely.

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    • I am glad I am not the only one that noticed the nice even girl/boy breakdown. Also, 7 is a lucky number right? I really appreciate your input. I keep going back and forth but it does mean something that some doctors are advocating for transferring one. My RE said it is completely up to be but he would recommend just one due to the extra risks. It is such a difficult decision!

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      • Hehe that was the first thing I thought – so cool! Will they tell you the sex of the embryos they are transferring? I’m kind of glad my doctor hasn’t even given me the option now, as I know how hard it would be to choose but you will get there. 🙂

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      • We can select the sex of the embryo they transfer or they can just pick one. Part of me just wants it to be random but it is cool we have the option. If we do end up transferring just one then we would pick one of the boys since we have one more of them. All of them are pretty highly graded so they all have about the same chance. If we transfer two then we would do one of each.

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  • We always made the decision to go with one when we still had others on ice or being frozen. It seemed like that was healthiest for mother and baby. But, truly it is a personal decision.

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    • That is what I am leaning towards but I am still not sure. It is strange. I thought most people would lean towards 2 but it seams like it is the other way. Even thought it is a personal decision, it is very helpful to get input from people that have been there. Thanks so much!

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  • Wow great! And they can tell you gender?! What?! Crazy.
    I also had a lot of eggs fertilize and ended up in the end with only 3 embryo. Two that transferred and only one that made it to blast. So I understand your disappointment but 7 is great!!!
    So are you choosing gender transfer or blind transfer.
    Choosing one or two is so personal. I did two because I needed the odds in my favor given it was likely our last IVF.
    Good luck!

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    • It is strange that they can tell you gender. Every once and a while I step back and it amazes me how crazy this whole process is. I would be thrilled with a boy or a girl of course! Even so, we will most likely pick. If we do one, we will pick a boy since we have one more boy than girls. If we do two, we will do one of each. If I do get pregnant, it would be strange to think that I could know the gender from the get go.

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      • Its very amazing what scientists are able to do. We live in good times.
        Are you leaning towards one or two transfer?

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      • I have been going back and forth but I am leaning towards one. Everything we have done up until now suggests that the chances of it working are really high. I think if it doesn’t work early on, it is just never going to happen. There maybe something fundamentally wrong with me that makes it so I can’t have kids. Basically I feel like if I’m going to get pregnant, I’m going to get pregnant regardless of if we put in one or two.

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      • I understand why you feel this way BUT it took me my fourth IVF cycle (second fresh cycle) before I got pregnant. Some times its a matter of the right embryo, timing. So much has to be in line. Dont give up & think if it doesnt happen the first time, it wont. Statistically everyone believed we would get pregnant on the first cycle.

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  • Those are great results! Sorry there weren’t as many as you’d hoped, I know that feeling! I am also getting ready for a transfer, but didn’t have as many embryos as you did so we didn’t do the PGD. Lots of luck to you in making these decisions!

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  • I know three woman personally that have recently done IVF. They did round one with one transfer. No dice. The next round they all did 2. All three got pregnant and have delivered healthy twins. One of the girls is my best friend. I spend a lot of time with her and her twins. I think you get used to your “new normal”. They are 15 months now and cute as a button. I found it strange that the only three people I knew personally having IVF done all had the same experience. One woman already had a child, for the other two this was their first.

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    • Wow that is strange that they all had the same outcome. I know what you mean by the new normal. A few of my friends have twins and they are all just too stinkin cute. Ultimately I will be thrilled if anything takes!

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  • I can see how you would be disappointed at first knowing that you had 15 eggs, but 7 is wonderful! Always try to look on the positive side. I know that is sometimes hard to do throughout the IVF journey. Good Luck 🙂

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  • I hope to get 7 on mine 🙂 That would be such a wonderful surprise. What sites or info did you turn to aside from your DR to get all the lingo and info into a comprehensible level? I am just about to start my very first round … with a very low AMH level. They aren’t given me a lot of hope for success. But 20% chance is better than no chance. We have decided if we have 3 good ones we will transfer 2.

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    • Hey Nikki
      I did not really turn to a specific site to get all the lingo. I had been reading other people’s blogs and figured it out that way. Sometimes I would go to http://www.fertilityties.com/topics/ttc-lingo-learn-ttc-acronyms-and-abbreviations which is helpful. Do not worry if it all does not make sense in the beginning. It takes time to understand all of this and you will get the hang of it.
      I know it is discouraging that they gave you a low chance of it working. Doctors do not always get it right. 4 years ago I went to a doctor after experiencing infertility for a year. Since there was nothing wrong with me (there still haven;t found anything wrong with me). My doctor put me on Clomid and told me he was very sure I would get pregnant soon (he was wrong). There are other people who are given almost a zero percent chance of success and they get pregnant. It is so unpredictable. Also, we did 2 retrievals and PGS to get to 7 blastocysts. If you are transferring fresh you may have more if you transfer at 3 vs 5 days (all of ours went to day 5 and were frozen). Good luck! I really hope it works out. I am always happy to share my experiences and answer questions to the best of my ability.

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