4 boys and 3 girls

The last few weeks I have been focusing on getting ready for my transfer which will be in January or February (I am going out of town in January for a bit so we may have to push things back). I went to yoga this morning and afterwords, I noticed I missed a call from my RE. I figured my PGS results had arrived so I called them back, but of course my RE was with a patient. I waiting for what felt like the longest 30 minutes of my life for him to call me back again. When he called me back, the first words out of his mouth were,

“4 boys and 3 girls”

My first reaction was disappointment. We tested 15 eggs and expected 2/3rds of them to be normal. Instead of 10 normal eggs, we have 7.

As I thought about this for a bit longer, I am starting to see this as a good thing for a following reasons.

* I am incredibly thankful to have 7 healthy, normal eggs. It gives us plenty of chances to try. We also have 2 more on ice that did not go through PGS (they were grade BBs). Who knows, they could be good as well. * Maybe this is one of the reasons I have been having trouble getting pregnant. * I am SO glad we did PGS. It was worth every penny. We now can avoid transferring eggs that would not have a chance. During a transfer, we know for sure that the egg is normal. That gives me a lot of peace. This may sound strange but I already feel attached to my little frosties. They are starting to feel real to me if that makes sense. I want to do everything I can to give them a shot at survival. My next big decision is to transfer 1 or 2. In the IF world, I get this question a lot. I may sound inconsistent with my answer, but I keep changing my mind. Statistics wise, here is the breakdown from my RE: Due to my age, overall health, and use of 5 day genetically normal frosties all with grades of AA, AB, or BA, our chance of pregnancy is pretty high. If we transfer 2, we have an 80% chance of getting pregnant. That also comes with a 70% chance of twins. If we transfer 1, we have a 65% chance of getting pregnant. There are some drawbacks to transferring 2. Twins come with extra health risks. They are more likely to be born premature and be underweight. They also have increased mortality and disabilities. I would cherish twins if I had them but I will also be honest and say the idea of raising 2 babies at once is a bit intimidating. Financially we are in a good place but the extra cost that comes along with raising an extra baby is something that warrants attention. If our first transfer fails, I plan on seeing a reproductive immunologist and exploring things I have not looked at before as possible causes and solutions to my infertility. If that is an issue, I would prefer to use up only 1 egg before we address this than 2. On the other hand, at this point I feel like doing anything possible to increase my chances of conception. 80% sounds a lot better than 65%. Also, if I transfer 2 eggs and God forbid something happens to one of them, I still have the other one. I know there is not a one size fits all solution for this. People have healthy twins all the time and people have singleton healthy babies all the time. Of course I would still love my baby regardless of any disability they may have. Even so, my goal is still to do what I can to have a healthy baby. So is 2 better than 1? I wish I knew the answer. I appreciate any feedback or input people have. I seriously am on the fence with this one.