So tomorrow is my birthday. I turn the big 32. I try my best to stay positive with birthdays. I lost my brother when he was 19 so I learned a while back to be thankful for every year you get. Even so, birthdays are painful. It reminds me that another year has gone by with no child and no pregnancy. I remember turning 27 (when we first started trying) thinking how bad it would be if I got to 28 and I was still not pregnant. Here I am at (almost) 32 and I feel like I am in the same place.
I also started my blog about a year ago. Almost everyone I followed back then has moved on (often by getting pregnant). I know how crappy infertility is and I am genuinely happy for them but I can’t help but feeling a bit jealous (which is awful I know).
Even though I feel like I am in the same place, I know that in reality this is not true. This year we have something that we never had before. We now have everything set up to start our very first transfer…..horray! I had to wait for AF to start and of course it was super late but everything is set and I am ready to get this party started! Today is day 1 of birth control bills. I am going out of town next week so my first RE appointment is the 19th. Even so, I say that today is officially day one of the whole process.
About a month ago I wrote a post about our struggle to decide whether we should transfer 1 or 2 blastocysts. Ours went through PGS which increased not only the chance of success but the change of twins. We poured over any information I could possibly find about the pros and cons of singletons vs. twins. Ultimately, we decided to transfer 1 boy. In the end, that was just what felt right. The only reason we picked a boy is because we have more of them (4 vs. 3). If this transfer does not work, we will deterimine if we need to change our game plan. If anything, I am relieved that we finally made a decision.
Although I have learned everything I possibly can about transfers, for some reason, I feel like I do not know what to expect. I am excited but also super nervous. Hope 2015 is going well for everyone so far! – Jennie