So we have been dealing with infertility for over five years so you would think I would be good at waiting. Apparently that is not the case! I had my second beta draw yesterday morning. Unlike my first beta, this one was not marked ‘stat’. I later found out my insurance will only pay for one stat draw per cycle (go figure!). I went crazy waiting for the results which did not arrive yesterday. Today I waited again all morning. I had a meeting today at 2PM so of course they call when I could not answer the phone. All I could do was stare at the missed call and wonder what they had to say.
The news is great. My beta more than doubled. I know I still have a ways to go but I am relieved!
I recently had a long talk with Caroline about how I feel being pregnant. I kept mentioning things that can go wrong and why I worry about everything. She encouraged me to read one of her recent posts about what she plans to do next time she gets pregnant (which WILL happen soon!). One part really spoke to me which went as follows:
Enjoy each and every day! I spent so much time worrying last time about Jackson that I did not enjoy him while I had him. I remember the day that I ate an entire thing of Thin Mints (no judgment!) and he crazy he went moving all around in my belly. It is one of the best memories I have of him. I wish I had slowed down more and enjoyed the little things. I was too worried about what would happen once he was born or that I was not gaining weight (from being sick) or what his nursery would look like. When all I should have been doing was enjoying him.
This really changed my perspective. Nothing is guaranteed. I want to enjoy the time I have with my son whether it be one more day or the rest of my life. There will always be a place for worrying but it took us over 5 years to get to this point and I am going to enjoy every moment. I can’t wait to see what the future brings! – Jennie