Hanging in there!

Published April 1, 2016 by Jennie

Happy April to everyone! Today is one of those days I am glad that I do not have Facebook anymore. I do not have to deal with April Fools pregnancy announcements. I know that people who post them do not intend to be hurtful or understand how it may affect someone dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss. Even so, they are still awful to see. I hope that people have not had to deal with too many of them this year.

Today marks 22w1d with my twin pregnancy. At 21w3d I woke up feeling like someone had stabbed me in the abdomen. I really thought my appendix had burst (the pain was in the lower right side of my abdomen). Turns out it is round ligament pain. I have heard of it before but did not know it could be that intense. I am learning things to do to keep the pain at bay but if anyone has some tips or suggestions, I greatly appreciate it!

At 22w we had a growth scan at MFM. Appointments still make me crazy nervous. Both babies measured at 15 ounces. I did find out my cervix shortened a bit from 4.1 cm at 18w1d to 3.4 cm at 22w (cue the anxiety attack) but my doctor said that is still okay. I am very thankful that they are monitoring things so closely so that if it does get too short, they can intervene and hopefully keep things going.

I am really starting to show and it amazes me how often complete strangers ask me about my pregnancy. I am not offended or anything, just surprised. I have also found out that people tend to be fascinated with twins. The first question I often get is whether I am having a boy or a girl. When I tell them I am having one of each, I almost always get at least 1 (if not more) of the following questions.

1. Do twins run in your family?

This appears to be a polite way of trying to figure out if I had IVF. People seem to also be very curious about that. I am not embarrassed at all about doing IVF. In fact, I am proud of it! We have gone though so much to get where we are and could have given up a long time ago.

2. Are they natural?

This is another less polite way of trying to figure out if I had IVF. I have pretty thick skin so it doesn’t offend me (I know people do not intend to be insensitive). Even so, I am tempted to reply with a sarcastic answer. For example, I could say that they are not natural but are robots or androids (something to show people that this is kind of a silly question!).

3. Are they identical?

The first time someone asked me this, I thought they were messing with me. Boy/girl twins can not be identical. Even so, I get this question ALL the time. Even my MFM specialist warned me that people might ask me this. One lady actually told me that my babies are not ‘real’ twins because they are not identical. Seriously, WTF? My husband suggested that when people ask me this, I should just say yes. Maybe once they are born, I will get them something like this:

yes-were-twins-not-identical-boy-girl-twins-funny

4. Do you feel twice the movement?

The answer to this is no. In fact, I feel very little movement. Both placentas are anterior, which makes it harder to feel stuff. It gets frustrating because lots of people want to tell me how much movement they felt at 22 weeks with their own pregnancies (often singletons) and then I worry that I am not feeling enough. My doctor assured me that everything is okay though. They were both moving like crazy at our last ultrasound (especially baby B). He had his legs over his head, which I thought was pretty cute!

a and b 22 weeks

In addition to these questions, everyone seems to know someone that had some terrifying twin experience and feels the need to share this story with me. This happens all the time. I know that people mean well but I promise that I am already nervous enough as it is!

Thanks for reading and I hope everyone else is doing well!  – Jennie

 

 

 

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33 comments on “Hanging in there!

  • I am so glad I don’t have FB either! Great to hear things are still going well. I will be getting cervix checks also pending things continue to go well (for a totally different reason, I have a uterine anomaly). It’s so great you have close monitoring. Sending love!!

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  • As a twin who was born the same year as the first IVF baby, and who has identical twin nephews, and whose twin had fraternal twins through medicated IUI, I’m fairly certain that asking if twins run in families isn’t really an attempt to find out if you’ve used fertility treatments, at least probably not from most people (unlike people asking if they’re natural, seriously????). I’ve been hearing that question since I was old enough to understand it, way before fertility treatments were anything “regular” people talked about.

    But twins are awesome! I can tell you from experience!

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    • Wow that’s a lot of twins in one family! I guess the reason I figured that is when I say that twins don’t run in the family people often ask then if I was ‘surprised’ and some flat out ask if they were from IVF after asking if twins run in the family. None of it bothers me. I just find it interesting! But yeah the ‘natural’ question can be a bit annoying.

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  • Thanks for sharing! I’m 19 weeks this week, and definitely starting to show through my loose clothing. I’ve had round ligament pain since week 7. At first, I thought I had pulled a groin muscle, but after a few weeks of it not going away, I figured out what it was. It now hurts to get up from sitting, and definitely wakes me up every time I change sides when I’m sleeping.

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    • Wow that sucks you have had it since week 7. Mine is triggered by the same thing. Changing positions in bed is really hard to do. It is a sloooow process! Other things that trigger it is getting up from sitting (just like you). While it hurts I am just glad it is not dangerous or anything.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Aww thanks 🙂 And yes some of the comments people make do surprise me. I understand that everyone is not an expert on twins (myself included!) but I really do not understand the whole ‘are they identical’ thing. I guess if nothing else, it keeps things interesting.

      Liked by 1 person

  • People can be such dumb dumbs sometimes. You should totally get those onesies! Hehe The confused looks in people’s faces would be priceless. Welcome to the world of twin education. I saw this guy do a really funny video about all the questions people ask about his twins the other day. Maybe try google. He is British. Oh I think it was in Huff Post. You are having some f them already so know you will identify! Glad things are going well. X

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    • I will have to look that up thanks! I guess I should go ahead and get used to the endless twin questions. It does not offend or bother me. If anything, I find it interesting. I never would have thought that I would get questions like this. Oh well. Never a dull moment lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  • The questions just keep on coming with twins unfortunately lol. My girls are clearly not identical (one is blonde the other brunette) and people will still argue with me and insist that they are ha! The other question we get all the time is “Were you surprised when you found out you were having twins?” And my answer is always “No because we put two embryos in.” I agree that people are genuinely just curious and then very interested in IVF, but don’t mean any harm.

    I didn’t feel much movement at all throughout my pregnancy either – they just didn’t have that much room to move once they got to the size that most people feel the movements.

    It sounds like you are doing great! Thanks for the update and hang in there!

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    • Thanks so much for your reply! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t feel a ton of movement. We often get the ‘were you surprised’ question when I tell them that twins do not run in the family. I really like how you respond to that question 🙂 I may have to steal that.

      I can’t believe people try to argue with you about whether they are identical. I’m sure that’s annoying but it’s also kind of funny. People seem to be obsessed with the whole identical thing.

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  • I used to get those questions all the time! I felt like a unicorn when I would say ‘one of each’ and people would treat me like one. Once they are here, people will do the same thing. I don’t mind it…I like the attention and being told my kids are cute!

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  • Oooh just wait until they are out… then you’ll see the true fascination with twins! My girls are 10 months old and what used to be a 30 minute grocery shopping trip, now usually takes about an hour because everyone wants to stop and look at the girls and talk to us about them 🙂
    I had round ligament pain around week 30 and I actually went to ER for it because I was freaked out thinking I was in labor. It ended up going away on its own once the muscles adjusted, so hopefully that will happen for you too! Good luck, twins are the most amazing blessing!

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    • Thanks! Your experience makes me feel better. I have a high pain tolerance but the RLP felt like I was getting stabbed in the stomach. I could barely move. It went away a few days ago but doctor said it will likely return.

      Thanks for the heads up on twins. I do anticipate lots of looks and questions once they arrive. I can’t wait to meet them though!

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  • Amazing!! Hope cervix stays at a good length. It’s normal I’m told to shorten as things progress. Mine wasn’t super long in third trimester and held off to 39 weeks.
    FB can be a cruel place to be at times. It’s gotten easier for me. Some times I do see some random comments that make me a tad bit angry.

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  • Our due dates are close together I think! Let’s try to keep in touch, I read you’re not on Facebook but how about instagram or Twitter? If not no worries. Just thought we could keep each other company through the challenges of new motherhood. It’s all new to me that is! Lol

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