The twins are 7 and a half months old. I can’t believe how fast it has all gone by. We have had a lot of ups and downs as well as a lot of surprises. Parenting twins is nothing like I thought it would be (then again I am not really sure what I thought it was going to be like). Before I start though, I figured I would share a few pictures of the little munchkins.
These have been my biggest surprises so far.
1. Working outside the home makes me a better mom.
When I had the twins, I originally planned to stay home with them for at least a year. I ended up starting work when they were about 3 months old. It was really hard for me to admit this to myself but I am a better mom when I have a chance to miss them. I am lucky that I have found a daycare that takes excellent care of them. One of the reasons they are doing so well is because of everything their teachers at daycare do for them. This was not our original plan (or the best solution for all families) but we are all happier.
2. The twins are tougher than I sometimes give them credit for.
They have come so far since their days in the NICU as preemie twins.
They still have their challenges (for example Luke tends to get frequent respiratory infections ) but they are not my frail little preemies anymore. They are tough cookies!
3. They are completely different
For me, this has been the hardest part of parenting twins. They do everything different, including reaching milestones. Lauren tends to reach them first which causes me endless anxiety. Luke also had severe torticollis, which really limited his movement for the first few months but he has weekly therapy for it and has made great progress. Even so, it is so hard not to compare them and wonder why one can do something but the other one can’t. Their pediatrician has reminded me multiple times that they are different people and I can not expect them to be the same.
4. Mommy judgement is alive and well
Most of the feedback I get from people is positive. Even so, every so often I get a harsh dose of mommy judgement. During our Christmas party at work, one of my coworkers let me know she could not imagine letting one (let along two) babies at daycare until they were at least a year old. I have also gotten some less than nice comments for formula feeding. That one is especially hard to deal with because I did everything I could to breastfeed and it simply didn’t work.
5. We need a lot of help
When I was pregnant I figured that if I was organized and motivated enough, my husband and I could handle the twins without outside help. I was wrong. We get lots of help from friends and family and could not do it without them. I am not supermom and that’s okay.
6. Time has become very valuable
When I want to do something, I now have to decide if it is worth time away from my kids. A few months ago I decided it is finally time to get back in shape. To do this, I have to take away some of the limited time I have with my kids to work out. This has been hard. I take them to the gym with me (usually after work) about 4 times a week. While I really like the people who take care of them at the gym’s childcare center, that is 4 more hours I do not have with them. I try my best to make the time we do spend together count.
7. I still miss the baby we lost
I am so thankful for our twins. Even so, they do not replace the baby we lost. I still think about him and wonder what he would have been like. He was loved and will always be missed.
Thanks for reading and I hope everyone is doing well! – Jennie